Prey...

My Heartbeats chase my pulses

How can my brain be so wet?

Am spreading my legs and feel you behind me

Contemplating the well crafted bum.

Laying on ma stomach

Writing down how the chase continued...

I wanna bite you, scratch you till you bleed

I wanna lick you and kiss you on a harsh speed.

My stomach hurts

I am resisting to touch myself

The wolf inside is trying to escape

It's painful, more painful than an exorcism

My Wolf is stronger than all my demons together

It can tear you apart

No sweetness, no tenderness

Just cruel aggression

My moans scars your ears

It shall leave a trace

I insert my pen inside Venus

It is so dry as the fountain ran up to my head.

I lick the skin you licked

My naked flesh

My heart becomes an earthquake.

Inside my throat is a dry land

Craving to suck you, to be roused

My lashes rub against your face

while am having your lips as appetizer

I will chew your tongue

Tonight, you are my food.

Nothing can equalize me now

Breathing is crossing continents

I squeeze a nipple with fingertips

while teething upon your nipple.

Your screams do not affect me

No sympathy, No mercy

Am collecting all my past anger

and creating a fierce army

Ready to attack

before the battle even begins.

with all those bruises they call "love bites"

Your Body is mine

I smells you hundreds of miles away

I dig my nails in you

to mark my territory.

The wind carries the song

to other land yards

Other wolves will not dare to howl

No one can save you

Today you shall be enslaved

and I shall be crowned...

Film Noir...

(My first professional Fiction short story...Thank you Linda for believing in my talent and thank you all my friends for your constant support)

Carla Love Frank
Behind the steel bars Carla smokes her last cigarette, looking back with a cynical laugh at her past life. There is no present and no more future. This is the end of the plot.

She remembers when she first met with Frank at his office on the 10th floor. That day, her destiny was determined. She walked in wearing her white chanel ensemble, black heels and a hat. She never forgets her red lips at home. She enters then knocks the door. Behind a cloud of smokes, Frank appears, speaking on the phone with a wrinkled frown. He gives her a signal to come in and sit down. It's humid outside but the vintage ventilator cooled the air and pushes documents away from the desk. "Oops" Carla murmured, with a grimace she moves to rescue the papers. She slightly kneels to pick them up. Frank notices her posture and smile. Carla is the brunette Marlin Dietrich but as sweet as Rita Hayworth. Frank is a mix of Humphrey Bogart in a Frank Sinatra's spirit. He hangs up and takes a long breath. "Hello" he start, "How can I help you ma am?" Carla hesitates then speaks "someone wants to kill me detective". "Then you came to the right place sweet lady" Frank giggles. They fade with the scene while a Dean Martin Swing tune comes from the 11th floor.

At "Zaphir" club, Carla is the lead singer 4 nights a week. The place delivers first class services for it's cliental. Show rehearsals are always conducted early mornings and changed twice a month to keep the atmosphere vivid. The stage is centralized between the round black leathered lounges. The walls painted in shimmering white screams jazz. On the opening day of her new show, Frank checks audiences from behind the beaded curtains. Carla finishes her song on stage with a steering storm of applauses. She's every man's fantasy and every woman's jealousy. Her velvet voice hypnotized Frank that he didn't care enough why he is at this club in the first place. He fell for Carla's irresistable charm. Does he know she fell for him after their few meetings at his office? No, he doesn't.

Days go by; Frank and Carla are madly in love. They meet daily at her apartment late at night and sometimes she drops by his office early afternoon when she's not performing. They drink, smoke and make love. Carla's obsession with him grows. She's possessive. She's not immune to his gaze or his husky tone. The scar near his left eye is like a magnet that pulls her whenever she wants to escape him. In bed, she sometimes calls him 'Raoul'. He used to laugh then he hated it when she did that. Did he know that Raoul was the love of her life? Did he know that Raoul once existed? He was the love of her life and yet she murdered him. Why? Coz he left her and broke her heart apart. What about Frank? Would he face the same destiny?

Carla becomes more and more agitated when she senses Frank's distance. Would she cover her hands with more blood? She wants revenge as she cannot accept being rejected. She considers giving away her heart to someone a sacred act and she always expects rewards. The detective disappeared like a phantom. He never returned back to the club. He never goes to his building. A massive mystery embarks on the stage of the femme fatal. Suspected for a crime of love, Carla gets arrested. No more silk, no more lace, she is facing her destiny within the grey walls behind those bars of steel. She puffs her last cigarette with her challenging eyes and her red lips that she never forgets at home.

The End

Oblivion Grudge...

Inside my dark soul, I wanna free myself. I wanna cross the road, but the road wont allow me. Am not sinful enough. how can I be sinful if am in love with one god, "You"

I wanna dance barefeet till millions of dawn pass thru me and I find myself again.

I want this girl again, being wrapped in her own self passion, diffusing it to the world.

If I knew, just if I knew....... I wish I knew but am ignorant about life and yet still alive.

I wanna look at the mirror and recognize myself, I don't anymore.

If I scream those mountains over my chest!
Maybe then, I'll be ready to put down this load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember.

I can't reach you, I'm in the middle of the sea, cannot reach the shore

Demons, my own demons are locking me,

they do that sometimes,
they punish me

I wanna be holded,
till it crush my chest

I want compassion, I want to escape

cAn SoMEbody InsPire the HECK out of mE? (PS: Mature Content)

Digging a finger or two inside oneself for incentive..
Guiltless lustful actions known as Amour Adultaire..
Unecessary food filling a big hole in stomach..
Shaking infront of 9000 Watt speakers for a promised vibrate quack..
Quickies? they are only good for a momentum fantasy..
Foreplaying is becoming banal and no Eroticism enough for mental erection..

Neither prayers nor intense sex..

Cutting own flesh to taste running fresh blood..

But again......Nothing seems enough

The Graceful Lust ...

Everytime I go nude, I wonder, how do you think of my body, how do you perceive my curves and skin type. But I don't keep wondering far as once I dig myself in your arms, my soul melt in your sphere. The thought make me shiver and go with a goose skin. I notice in your eyes more desire in possessing my flesh, in merging with me through your touches. I deliberate and show more skin. I sometime sees you as a runaway boy who wish to be lost in a heavenly garden where he can feel secure. I mostly use my exposures as a way of communication when my language fail me to express how I feel. And before I drift in my mind obstacles, I quickly surrender my tongue to yours as a sort of alliation in forces.

How can lovers become one in this most intimate action without losing their identity? How can they get rid of all their integral complexes just by holding hands? How can a passionate kiss wash away all fears?... even tears becomes sweet and all irrational attitude make all sense.
It's mysterious and this is the pleasure out of it. No how's or why's as if all questions don't need more answers.

....In this most mask off emotional battle, lust become the only legible weapon....

Beauty as a repetitive trait in Life cycle...

Again I'm stimulated in opening a 3rd parallel lane in the track of my recent reflections on Life aspects. It's strange as you cannot talk about one side without dragging the other sides to the discussion.

It always intreagued me when I was young how some perceived a woman as beautiful while others perceive same woman as not beautiful at all...I then realised that Beauty is a very individual perception that depends on a total subjectivity. Many consider Beauty as a big dilemma while in fact Beauty itself always speaks simple language but we sometimes like to apply those mysetrious equations in order to give Beauty certain attractive dimension trying to maintain an appealing concept to avoid slipping in the trap of a boring abyss.

We reflect what we believe in and this translate into what we see...so does Beauty Vs Ugliness works.... As the popular saying :"Beauty lies in the Eye of the Beholder" as it all depend on what the beholder perceive as Beauty or as Ugly...Beauty is a very simple approach that vary from one to another but yet holds more an attitude & a life style than just a visual conceptive image. Its essence consist on how we think of what we see and how what we see affect the way we think...Its a sort of partnership as both ideas depend on each other...I don't like to mistake Beauty with everything that needs to be visualized coz it transform Beauty into rigide images while in fact Beauty can be identified through all human senses without being restricted to only one factor which is Vision.

According to Pythagoras, the Greek mathematician and the founder of a religious cult devoted to the idea of reincarnation back then in the 6th century, Beauty means "Cosmos"...For him Beauty is the central explanatory concept we require for understanding pretty much everything & anything. Beauty is the key to the order of the universe. Pythagoras had great interests in Music and made a very impressive discovery then that might sound very banal to us now but in fact it is very astonishing. He said:" A stetched piece of string, when plucked, produces a note. If you get another piece of string exactly half the length of the first and pluck it as well, the two notes will be in harmony"... Together they define what we now call an Octave. The Universe is not just ordered; it has a beautiful order. When we are delighted by musical harmonies we thrill, Pythagoras believed, to the fundamental order of all things.

...To be continued...

Life & Unconditional Love...

Following my previous post on Life and what is related from familiar motions & emotions that might sound to some as repetitive, I would like to aline an unseperable fact that might have nothing to do with what I was talking about but has everything to do with Human Race natural progress which is Love. I couldn't help not to share it over my space since Love (conditional and/or unconditional) is an essential part for any individual during his personal growing up process.
From 7 Habbits of Highly Effective People:
The Laws of Love & the Laws of Life
When we make deposits of unconditional love, when we live the primary laws of love, we encourage others to live primary laws of life. In other words, when we truly love others without condition, without strings, we help them feel secure and safe and validated and affirmed in their essential worth, identity, and integrity. Their natural growth process is encouraged. We make it easier for them to live the laws of life - cooperation, contribution, self discipline, integrity-and to discover and live true to the highest and best within them. We give them the freedom to act on their own inner imperatives rather than react to our conditions and limitations. This does not mean we become permissive or soft. That itself is a massive withdrawel. We council, we plead, we set limits and consequences. But love, regardless. When we violate the primary laws of love - when we attach strings and conditions to that gift we actually encourage others to violate the primary laws of life. We put them in a reactive, defensive position where they feel they have to prove "I matter as a person, independent of you". In reality, they aren't independent. they are counter-dependent, which is another form of dependency and is at the lowest end of the Maturity Continuum. They become reactive, almost enemy-centered, more concerned about defending their 'rights' and producing evidence of their individuality than they are about proactively listening to and honoring their own inner imperatives. Rebellion is a knot of the heart, not of the mind. The key is to make deposits - constant deposits of Unconditional Love.


Well, I couldn't explain it better if I needed to elaborate same idea and all that cross my mind everytime I read this piece is: "When you shine, you allow people to shine around you"; It's hard but not impossible and we're simply lazy to do it coz it needs courage to face ourselves in order to face others. Everything starts and ends by Us as each one is the center of his/her own Universe. I cannot cut the the reflection without quoting "Coach Carter" in a movie with same name when he said to his team:"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, it is our light, not our darkness that most frighten us. You are playing small does not serve the world, there's nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do, it's not just in some of us, it's in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
...To be continued....

Life as a repetitive cycle....

I came to read this article (I rather call it reflection) I once published on one of the online communities like a year ago about Life .. and while I was going through the text, I realised that what I reflected a year ago is again happening same timing but in different context..


Is Life a repetitive Cycle????
...Reaching a certain status in life (especially age) requires a lot of effort, patience, experience and above all, Will & Passion. And guys, I admit, it's not an easy job at all.
During the journey so called Life, people tend to form some sord of intellectual barriers and emotional walls as a personal and private self-defence, each according to his/her own understanding and acceptance to his/her own life style based on a strictly individual perception.
Today, I can't help not to adopt a certain attitude of thinking regarding LIFE and whether it's a sort of a one to one game (an action that needs a reaction and vice versa) and how this individuel lives interact together in a non-stop chain around the whole universe, OR LIFE is just a matter of one repetitive cycle for each individuel that start since his/her birth and go around rotating same scenes and sequences and events all along the way till his/her death.
I am one among many who face same riddled question and concerned on the idea of feeling that we became a sort of players in a rehersal of a same play...
December 2004



...Now it got me re-thinking again about how much our Life look like a big encyclopedic book including Volumes..each Volume is made of Chapters...each Chapter envolves Sections...each Section is a matter of Parts...each Part is consumed by Points...each Point form an Idea...each Idea enclose a Meaning and each Meaning include a Concept or a Form of living that is not necessarily the same among everyone...It's hysterical I know, but we all practice and interact in this big sophisticated and complicated WEB (Where Everyone Believe)...

...To be Continued...